The Seventh

Dear S D,

What happened?  Over two years ago, our relationship started out so fun, exciting and loving.  I felt you were the one for me.  How could there be a better match, right?  Apparently I was wrong.  Over time, the love faded, and bitterness replaced whatever fond feelings once were felt.  At some point, did you realize the shift?  Did you even care?  Or were you only looking after yourself and felt all others were merely pebbles upon your path to success?

I would love to end our relationship, to move on and start fresh, yet with all of your bad you bring so many perks including a sense of security.  I love you and hate you and wish I could find a new path to follow.  I am tied to you.  I want out so bad I can taste it, yet I am constantly reminded that I need you.  I pack my stuff up often, and realize I have nowhere to go.  I hope for a path to open up in front of me, however refuse to do the work to find that path.  Perhaps, I need to realize that all relationships have the good and the bad, as well as the ugly.  Perhaps, the problem is me.  Maybe you haven't changed afterall and I have just shifted my focus from the good to the ugly.  Will I find you more attractive if I just start looking at all the good?  Somehow, I believe I will still wake with a sense of dread because of you.  What should I do?

In need of something,

Mel P