Dear people,
Its been a while and so much has happened. I lost my job and then stumbled upon a new one. I've made some good choices, I've made some mistakes. I've hurt others and I have been hurt. Amazing what all one can do in such a short time span. I have not, however been writing. I bought a new journal a few weeks ago so hopefully my writing will pick up again. Most of which, you will never see. With that being said, I have had a recurring theme going through my head and it plays itself over in one specific scenario. Hopefully the following will make sense, it will probably even sound familiar to my letter to Spencer.
On Sunday, I spent the better part of the day preparing for Valentines day. Even more time and energy was spent after the kids went to bed as I go to great lengths decorating the house to look as though cupid shot our house with his arrows of love leaving a trail of ballons, garland, streamers and the such every where. Quite literally it looks as though love puked in my little apartment. I then leave small gifts out for them to find in the morning. My kids love it and look forward to it each year. I also jump through hoops to ensure the same sense of magic is tied to the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. Heck, if it wasn't for my lack of creativity earlier on in my kids lives, I'm sure there would be other Holidays I would do similar activities for.
Many wonder why I would go to such great legnths (Really, how many moms buy special wrapping paper and create special hand made tags for the gifts from Santa???) to protect an image that is actually false. I have known many people who feel this is lying to their children and refuse to allow their kids to believe in any such none sense. I also know of friends who just let their kids know the truth when the kids ask about it. I, however, cannot. It would be easier for me to just let it go and move forward with life. But I CANT. Why can't I? To me, the answer is simple but to so many, it seems lost on them. I want my children to be children. I want my children to be untainted by the world, I want them unburdened with the sadness of life, I want them unscarred by the weight that is put upon us as we grow up. I want them to have hope and to believe in the good. Somewhere in life, we forget how to believe, we forget how to laugh and to love and to look for the good. Somehow, we let the pressures of life get us down and we believe that nothing will change and there is no good. As we get older, not only do we cease to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy but also we cease to believe in ourselves and in others. We cease to believe that we can be whatever we want. We cease to believe there is good. With that we stop forgiving, we stop loving unconditionally, we stop growing. I look at my children and I want them to hold on to that. I realize that one day they will know the truth, however I hope the feelings of joy, hope, and love will always stick with them and when they are 30 years old raising their own families they will think back to these days and the magic of our home and recreate that. If they do, then I made my mark in the world and it will be a slightly better place. That's what matters, right?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Twenty Second
DEAR BANK ACCOUNT,
WHY DOES IT SEEM TO TAKE SO LONG TO GET YOU FULL BUT NO TIME AT ALL TO DEPLETE YOU?
LOOKING AT MY STATEMENTS -
Mel P
WHY DOES IT SEEM TO TAKE SO LONG TO GET YOU FULL BUT NO TIME AT ALL TO DEPLETE YOU?
LOOKING AT MY STATEMENTS -
Mel P
The Twenty First
Dear Spencer,
I have given my letter to you much thought and it will not turn out to be what I had once considered making it.
A few weeks ago, you posted a link that sparked something of a little debate. You made reference to sure knowledge you have accumulated over the past year. Who am I to argue with one's version of sure knowledge? Tell you what - I'm not even going to try. Instead, I am just going to tell you what I believe as that is all I have to offer.
I believe in the good. I believe in choice. I believe in hope, faith, and love. I believe that in order to believe one mustn't have sure knowledge as it then ceases to be a belief. I believe (even though I can't say with a surety) that there is someone across the world doing something wonderful for someone else. I believe that in the end what matter's most is how we treat our fellow man. I believe it is no one's place to judge nor look down upon others. Likewise, I also believe there is no room to tear anyone down only to try to build ourselves up. I believed I was once broken only to think I wasn't only to realize I was. I believe I am the only person who has the control of myself to let go and love again. I believe one day I might make that jump. I believe that I've been knocked down but I will stand up again.
In the end, Spencer, I believe that believing makes people better. It's what makes life worth living. It's what compels us to move forward, to take chances, to improve. In fact, I believe that believing might be the single most important action anyone takes and the hardest. Anyone can follow sure knowledge. The true challenge comes in following something of meaning and taking a chance you could be wrong.
Still believing and willing to fall,
Mel P
I have given my letter to you much thought and it will not turn out to be what I had once considered making it.
A few weeks ago, you posted a link that sparked something of a little debate. You made reference to sure knowledge you have accumulated over the past year. Who am I to argue with one's version of sure knowledge? Tell you what - I'm not even going to try. Instead, I am just going to tell you what I believe as that is all I have to offer.
I believe in the good. I believe in choice. I believe in hope, faith, and love. I believe that in order to believe one mustn't have sure knowledge as it then ceases to be a belief. I believe (even though I can't say with a surety) that there is someone across the world doing something wonderful for someone else. I believe that in the end what matter's most is how we treat our fellow man. I believe it is no one's place to judge nor look down upon others. Likewise, I also believe there is no room to tear anyone down only to try to build ourselves up. I believed I was once broken only to think I wasn't only to realize I was. I believe I am the only person who has the control of myself to let go and love again. I believe one day I might make that jump. I believe that I've been knocked down but I will stand up again.
In the end, Spencer, I believe that believing makes people better. It's what makes life worth living. It's what compels us to move forward, to take chances, to improve. In fact, I believe that believing might be the single most important action anyone takes and the hardest. Anyone can follow sure knowledge. The true challenge comes in following something of meaning and taking a chance you could be wrong.
Still believing and willing to fall,
Mel P
The Twentieth
Dear guys trying to date me,
You are cute.
You are funny.
You are charming.
However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why you seem to treat the dates more like job interviews.
Why do you worry more about the hypothetical situations of the future instead of the present time being spent with me?
Do you realize that every girl you ask these "hypothetical" questions to will always give you the right answer? Though, many will be a contradiction of that. Why don't you just date me and see if I exhibit the qualities you are looking for?
Truth be told, I don't have a lot of free time on my hands. I just want to go out and enjoy life, preferably with someone who knows how to have fun and how to hold a lively conversation without turning it into an interrogation. Please for the sake of myself and anyone else you might try to date, reconsider your game plan. Know that whatever it is you are wanting to know about someone will come out in time, but let the flow come natural!
Needing a good night out!
Mel P
You are cute.
You are funny.
You are charming.
However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why you seem to treat the dates more like job interviews.
Why do you worry more about the hypothetical situations of the future instead of the present time being spent with me?
Do you realize that every girl you ask these "hypothetical" questions to will always give you the right answer? Though, many will be a contradiction of that. Why don't you just date me and see if I exhibit the qualities you are looking for?
Truth be told, I don't have a lot of free time on my hands. I just want to go out and enjoy life, preferably with someone who knows how to have fun and how to hold a lively conversation without turning it into an interrogation. Please for the sake of myself and anyone else you might try to date, reconsider your game plan. Know that whatever it is you are wanting to know about someone will come out in time, but let the flow come natural!
Needing a good night out!
Mel P
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Nineteenth
Dear Amanda,
I've known you for almost 4 years and yet I feel we just became friends in the last 4 months. I find it amazing that the same source that kept us separated has now become the source that brought us together. Now you are leaving - I'm happy for you. I hope that you find peace and happiness. My heart breaks for you as I know how low in life you have fallen. I know because I have been there. I know the struggle as you desperately cling and scratch at whatever you can to climb out of that hole. I know the struggles to smile, to laugh, to trust. I know your pain in a way that only the two of us can.
I want you to know, though, that you can. You will smile, you will laugh, one day you will look back and realize you are a better person because of that hole you were in. You also need to know how grateful I am for you. You were another loving parent to my children. Yes, our parenting styles differed greatly but at the end of the day my children know you love them and they know you will continue to love them. More so, please know you will always be family - you will always have a place in our home and our hearts.
Jealous that you are moving,
Mel P
I've known you for almost 4 years and yet I feel we just became friends in the last 4 months. I find it amazing that the same source that kept us separated has now become the source that brought us together. Now you are leaving - I'm happy for you. I hope that you find peace and happiness. My heart breaks for you as I know how low in life you have fallen. I know because I have been there. I know the struggle as you desperately cling and scratch at whatever you can to climb out of that hole. I know the struggles to smile, to laugh, to trust. I know your pain in a way that only the two of us can.
I want you to know, though, that you can. You will smile, you will laugh, one day you will look back and realize you are a better person because of that hole you were in. You also need to know how grateful I am for you. You were another loving parent to my children. Yes, our parenting styles differed greatly but at the end of the day my children know you love them and they know you will continue to love them. More so, please know you will always be family - you will always have a place in our home and our hearts.
Jealous that you are moving,
Mel P
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Eighteenth
Dear State of NC, County of Mecklenburg, and City of Charlotte,
As a contributing member of society, also known as a tax payer, who winced as she wrote her check to pay her dues this year, I must confess - I do believe you are wasting my money!
For example, as I drove into the city, I noticed multiple signs indicating the buildings located in uptown. 1st - if those working at the Bank of America building do not know where it is, perhaps, they should find a new place of employment - might I recommend Taco Bell (I hear they can make a mean chicken burrito by the way) 2nd - Signs for the Nascar Hall of Fame - This just happens to be a building that can be seen from the 277 loop easily. If the tourists can't find it, perhaps our local businesses would benefit from the idiots stopping by to purchase maps, snacks, and the such as they ask for directions (mind you, I hear gas station coffee is watered down, maybe they ought to steer clear from that). 3rd - what does the orange block with a white S on it mean? I have lived in this beautiful city for twelve years and have yet to figure it out. How will someone not from here know if I don't? Plus - did we really need to go with orange, I would have opted for a livelier color. Might I suggest cranberry? Or better yet, rasberry, that is the color of my luggage after all.
In short, I am boggled by the changes being made. I hate to see that we are so completely wasting money yet we have to close our libraries, our school system is severely lacking and I can't drive down any road for more than five minutes without swerving to miss a pot hole. How is it these basic needs are over looked for more frivolous matters? I understand there are many schools of thought however I firmly believe that if we fix the core the rest will follow suit - after all who wants to buy a house with a fresh coat of paint but is infested with termites?
Wanting my money to go to better use,
Mel P
As a contributing member of society, also known as a tax payer, who winced as she wrote her check to pay her dues this year, I must confess - I do believe you are wasting my money!
For example, as I drove into the city, I noticed multiple signs indicating the buildings located in uptown. 1st - if those working at the Bank of America building do not know where it is, perhaps, they should find a new place of employment - might I recommend Taco Bell (I hear they can make a mean chicken burrito by the way) 2nd - Signs for the Nascar Hall of Fame - This just happens to be a building that can be seen from the 277 loop easily. If the tourists can't find it, perhaps our local businesses would benefit from the idiots stopping by to purchase maps, snacks, and the such as they ask for directions (mind you, I hear gas station coffee is watered down, maybe they ought to steer clear from that). 3rd - what does the orange block with a white S on it mean? I have lived in this beautiful city for twelve years and have yet to figure it out. How will someone not from here know if I don't? Plus - did we really need to go with orange, I would have opted for a livelier color. Might I suggest cranberry? Or better yet, rasberry, that is the color of my luggage after all.
In short, I am boggled by the changes being made. I hate to see that we are so completely wasting money yet we have to close our libraries, our school system is severely lacking and I can't drive down any road for more than five minutes without swerving to miss a pot hole. How is it these basic needs are over looked for more frivolous matters? I understand there are many schools of thought however I firmly believe that if we fix the core the rest will follow suit - after all who wants to buy a house with a fresh coat of paint but is infested with termites?
Wanting my money to go to better use,
Mel P
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Seventeenth
Dear Sheep,
How many of you must I count before I fall asleep? Who am I kidding - I quickly lose patience with counting and get lost in how fluffy ya'll seem.
#13 - When did you get a mo-hawk? How does our mom feel about it?
#44 - I thought you were looking for a new job - is that process not working for you? Why don't you become one of those Serta matress sheep?
#26 - Are you still dating #62?
#71 - Perhaps you need to slow down, it looks as though you have lost too much eiaght - does roaming my imagination keep you that busy?
Perhaps you guys could be a little more boring and then I could sleep...or maybe not.
Looking forward to seeing ya'll tonight -
Mel P
How many of you must I count before I fall asleep? Who am I kidding - I quickly lose patience with counting and get lost in how fluffy ya'll seem.
#13 - When did you get a mo-hawk? How does our mom feel about it?
#44 - I thought you were looking for a new job - is that process not working for you? Why don't you become one of those Serta matress sheep?
#26 - Are you still dating #62?
#71 - Perhaps you need to slow down, it looks as though you have lost too much eiaght - does roaming my imagination keep you that busy?
Perhaps you guys could be a little more boring and then I could sleep...or maybe not.
Looking forward to seeing ya'll tonight -
Mel P
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